Why I'm doing this in the first place...

I've asked myself the question of why I'm doing this about a million times in the past couple of months...namely because I'm SO not the person that would actually consider this. I should clarify--the old me was SO not the person that would actually consider this.

Two years ago (Aug. 12, 2003, to be exact), I weighed in at 266.2 lbs. I know the exact weight because that was also the day that I started Weight Watchers. I was 29, had been on blood pressure medicine for 3 years, and couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded. I'd struggled with my weight for my whole life (even wore "husky" jeans as a kid), but I was caught in a downward spiral from which I was struggling to escape. I've been blessed with amazing friends and family in my life, but even their encouragement and concern about my weight wasn't enough to get me to do anything about it. It took my sister sending me some photos before I realized just how far I'd fallen...those pictures were the motivation for me to make it through my first WW meeting and one of those pictures resides in my transition pack as a reminder of how far I've come. In the past two years, I've lost over 100 lbs and have learned, more than anything, that it's OK to ask for others' support (my WW group has been amazingly supportive and I love them dearly for it) and that it truly is the journey, and not the destination, that defines the experience. I've heard the same holds true for the IM journey...

Two years ago, I was "morbidly obese" (to use the term my doctor used...you would've thought the "morbidly" part of that would've scared me to action), ridiculously inactive (though I had convinced myself that I could still do all of the things I wanted to....what a load of bull that was), and goal-oriented only as it pertained to my career (workaholic was probably an understatement at the time). Two years ago, I couldn't fathom people using exercise as a stress-reliever or for enjoyment, and I most definitely thought endurance sports of any kind were only for those who were teetering on the brink of insanity. Two years ago, I would've kept these thoughts and details (especially my weight) to myself and buried it under a facade of happiness.

But those thoughts and that person existed two years ago...the new version of me is more or less the complete opposite. I'm nearing my weight-loss goal, and I've found myself contemplating how I'm going to celebrate reaching that goal. Initially, I was focused on material rewards--dinner at Charlie Trotter's, for example (once a food geek, always a food geek)--but those seemed too fleeting to mark what has become a life-changing journey for me. WW has taught me that it's OK to have personal goals as well as professional goals, and through the course of training for triathlons this year, it occurred to me that perhaps the best way to celebrate the new me is to set and achieve a seemingly unattainable personal goal by doing something so completely polar to what the old me would have done that it would slam the book shut on the old me (not to be forgotten, but definitely to be put on the shelf) and start a brand new volume of my life. Somewhere in the midst of that relevation, Sue (someone who I've come to know, respect, and trust through WW) came along and started talking about this thing called Ironman. I knew about it, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I'd do it. Then again, it seemed like exactly the kind of thing that was the complete and polar opposite of anything I would've envisioned two years ago...making it darn near the perfect goal for me to celebrate my weight loss and the person I've become.

So...here I am, 362 days before race day...gearing up to work my butt off for the better part of those 362 days and endure one hell of a long day at the end--all to celebrate another journey that took me from the old me to the person I am today. And, frankly, I can't wait.

362 days to go...bring it on!!