Reflections and Resolutions

It's almost 2006 and I'm now 32 plus one day--I'm one of the poor souls whose birthdays happen to fall in the holiday season, but at least it means I usually don't have to work on my birthday. Plus, as I grow older, it seems that, between my birthday and New Year's Eve, I have a darn near perfect excuse to do some serious reflection on the past year and figure out what the next year might have in store for me. As I was driving to Davenport to visit a friend and her family today, I did just that--nothing like the incredible boredom of Interstate 88 to incent some deep philosophical musings on my life.

It's absolutely astounding to me to think of all that's transpired in my life since my 31st birthday--I can safely say I couldn't have predicted even 1% of what happened. I think my friend Jenny summed it up best in her Christmas card to me--simply put, "Good Lord, what a year." A year ago, I had yet to start running--I started with the Runners' World 10-week program that had me running a minute, walking a minute, etc. until I finally worked up to running for 20 minutes straight--but that process didn't start until the first week of 2005. Now, I find myself excited to be wrapping up the taper phase of an 18-week marathon training program that had me running 3+ hours on several occasions, and I can't begin to express how excited I am to run in my first marathon next week. It's been an incredible journey thus far--the crazy thing is that it actually seems like it's been the most natural progression ever, and I'm not sure whether that should frighten me or simply indicate to me that this is exactly what I'm meant to be doing now. Frankly, I think it's a little of both.

Running aside, there are many other things that amaze me about 2005--like the fact that I started the whole triathlon thing and the fact that I'm not too bad at it. I'm still stunned at times by the fact that I'm doing IM WI next year--that seems crazy in my weaker moments, but I also know that I can and will do it. I can't begin to express how much fun I've had this year through the whole training and competing process--I'm so very thankful to have such a great group of people to train with, and I'm grateful for their friendship, advice, and tolerance of my random moments.

From a more general standpoint, I'm finally becoming comfortable with the person I'm becoming--I can actually look in a mirror and recognize the person staring back, which is something I struggled with for the first ~80 lbs or so of my weight loss journey. It's weird to realize that all of the gradual changes add up to a brand new person, but it's pretty cool to finally look in the mirror and see only the new me without all of the old baggage. I've still got a ways to go to get rid of the old me completely, but I'm a hell of a lot closer than I was this time last year. Plus, I've appeared in public and around people I know in a bathing suit and in spandex--that has to count for something where my whole body image issue is concerned.

More important, though, is the mental change that has occurred--I feel so so much more comfortable with myself, and I think that's translated into more self-confidence and more willingness to expose myself to new things, new people, and new challenges along the way. I used to sit back and think life would come to me--now I seem to have adopted a "bring it on" attitude and pretty much grab life by the horns. I think it's also helped my friendships--I know there are some that are much stronger now than they've been in the past, and I've made some incredible new friends this year as well. I think the challenge for next year will be continuing to develop those friendships, but I'm up to the task.

In 2006 and in my 33rd year of life on this earth, I'm resolving to continue the transformation. I'll tackle my demons by finishing Disney and IM WI and all of the training races in between, and I'll have an awesome time doing it all. I'm resolving to maintaining some level of sanity by remembering to stop and laugh/cry/have fun/just be every now and then, and I'm resolving to make damn sure that my friends (both new and old) and family know how very much I care about them and how grateful I am that they are in my life. I'm not good with emotional things or letting people know how I feel, but I'm going to do my best to get that message through. It's going to be a great year--I can feel it! And the journey continues...bring it on!!

Happy New Year...

Weeks 39 and 38 Wrap-Up (aka Santa must be a triathlete in his spare time...)

OK--I'm a little behind on my postings, having just taken grief from Vardo for a) not updating my blog in over 10 days and b) deciding to finally post an update on New Year's Eve when she (and Sparkle and Cara) is in a dive bar in Cumming, Iowa while I sit in front of my computer. So, here I am, posting away and hopefully getting to bed at a reasonable hour...and yes, I realize that makes me seem like the world's most pathetic person, but frankly, I'm thrilled with it...and in my defense, I'm drinking some good Champagne while I type (Moet White Star--I'm not completely pathetic, I guess).

Enough ranting, though...the past couple of weeks have been a blur with Christmas travels and the pre- and post-travel preparations/clean-up. Training has been MUCH easier--loving the taper heading into next weekend--but the rest of my life became more chaotic. I spent 5 days in Kansas City with my sister and brother-in-law hosting--my parents were also down for 4 days. Good trip--unseasonably warm most of the time (except for Christmas Eve, when I ran my 12-miler in a very cold rain--ugh). As it turns out, Santa was very good to me and takes direction very well--I now own a wetsuit, an aerobar water bottle, a bento box, some gel flasks for my bike, a tool kit, and a book rack for my trainer to ease the upcoming bike sessions. Plus, the family time was great, too--my brother-in-law and I now have a battle of the washer game to wage over the next several years to claim ownership of a new family treasure...should be interesting to see what transpires.

I got all of my mileage in over Christmas, but missed some cross-training--unless you can count eating toffee or drinking wine as a cross-training opportunity. Overland Park (the KC city where Kristie lives) is actually fairly hilly, so I got some unplanned hill training in as well--my HR stayed fairly reasonable for the runs I did down there, which made me pretty happy with my conditioning so far.

Here are the summaries for the past couple of weeks...the taper has clearly begun in week 38...

Week 39:
Run: 7:00:02 / 43.14 miles
Bike: 0
Swim: 0:40:00 / 1700 m
Strength: 0:15:00 -- all core

Week 38:
Run: 4:54:30 / 31.31 miles
Bike: 0
Swim: 0:31:00 / 1300 m
Strength: 0

I'm joining Sue and Michele for our last "long" training run tomorrow--one more 8-miler for the books and then we really cruise into Disney next weekend. I'm psyched for the race--I'm feeling good and, assuming I can continue to get some decent sleep between now and then, I think I'll be in good shape mentally and physically for the race. Can't wait--can't believe it's almost here, but I'm so excited to cross the finish line I can hardly stand it!!! Bring on the Mickey medal....

Let the Disney taper begin...

Haven't had time yet to do the weekly roll-up from last week, but the important thing to note is that I'm now in taper mode for my first marathon. I did my second and final 20-miler Saturday with Michele--felt light years better than the first 20-miler, even with the snow and even colder temperatures. We ended up running mostly roads and parking lots to get our mileage--we spent about 2 miles attempting to run our normal path (normal being the only path I sort of know up there) along the Des Plaines River trail, but with about 6-7" of snow still on the ground and compacted, we opted for safer plowed surfaces so neither of us killed an ankle. Really cold, but I was still going strong at the end--well, strong might be pushing it, but I felt a lot better than I did at the end of my first 20-miler. Michele had a rough run, though, and being the crappy running partner that I am, I ran out of encouraging things to say fairly early into the burn...guess that's something I need to work on as well.

It's been brutally cold so far this week--thankfully, I didn't have to venture out to run on Sunday or yesterday, as both were the sort of cold days that makes even the heartiest loyal Midwesterner question what in the hell makes us live here. Today was only slightly warmer--at least the wind chill was above zero for most of the day...but it's supposed to start warming up more tomorrow. Nevertheless, it's a treadmill week for me--I'm resolving not to run outside again unless the wind chill is above 10 degrees, so I'll be doing my 6-miler inside tomorrow morning. At least I'm done with the mid-week 8-milers for now...those are brutally tough to fit in before morning meetings.

Not sure when I'll get my weekly stuff summarized or post again, so Merry Christmas, everyone...

Over the Edens and through the woods...

Or, more appropriately, skip the woods because the trail through the woods has about 6" of unmatted snow on it and stick to the sidewalks...which is what Erin, Michele and I did this morning for our 8-miler. We had every intention of running our normal route through Harms Woods (part of the forest preserve system near work), but we stopped about 50 ft after we turned onto the path--decided it was a much safer bet to stick to sidewalks today.

The downsides to the sidewalk option, though, are the fact that some people are better at shovelling than others and that my legs are not used to concrete at all as I've done all of my training (with the exception of about half of Saturday's 12-miler) on either asphalt or crushed limestone. The combination of the hard surface and running through the snow/snow-ice combo on some of the sidewalks have made my legs way more tired than they normally are after an 8-miler...guess there really is something to Sue's continual advice of avoiding concrete...and I'll be back on the treadmill tomorrow morning for a 5-miler after core class.

Day 2 of journaling and of being way more diligent with my WW program has gone well--even managed to go out for Thai with my friend Catherine and stick well within my points (thanks to tom yum soup)...so much so that I treated myself to 5 points worth of Edy's Slow-Churned (if you haven't picked up on it yet, I love the stuff) and haven't had to tap into my flex points yet. I am slightly amazed that I've more or less maintained my weight lately without really paying too much attention to the WW program...guess a lot of the program is just habit by now. Yesterday and today have been a wake-up call, though, as to what I've let slide (measuring and tracking).

Gearing up for the second 20-miler Saturday...then let the taper begin!!

Week 40 Wrap-up

Week 40 was a decent week for me--easy from a running standpoint as it was a step-back week, plus I feel like my swimming is slowly getting better (no small thanks to the clinic I took last weekend). I can tell I've changed my swim stroke--my arms and shoulders were a little stiff after my swim on Wednesday when I really tried to focus on how, when, and where my hands were entering and leaving the water.

As for running, that continues to go well--my cardio endurance seems like it's doing great if my HR monitor is any indication, and I'm feeling good. Saturday, Erin and I ended up running through the streets and sidewalks of Evanston as the Harms Woods path we had planned to run was completely snowed over (sadly, we had a communication hiccup with co-worker Julia, so it ended up just being Erin and me for the run). We ran about half of the time on the roads (asphalt) and the other half on sidewalks (concrete and snow)--my legs are definitely not used to concrete as they were stiff on both Sunday and Monday following the 12-miler Saturday. But, they're feeling better today--always good. I also started breaking in my very clean new shoes (treadmill only at this point, so they're still clean), and, at the risk of being accused of being a runner, I now have two black toenails following the 20-miler last week. It's cool in a weird and fairly disgusting way, but I feel like I have two little nasty badges of honor to show off to the world (or the very few people who actually see my feet).

Not such a great week weight-wise--I was up this week at WW. But, considering I spent Saturday night hanging out, having some beers, and playing video games with some of the tri gang and then Sunday afternoon baking Christmas cookies with Theresa and her family, I guess it was to be expected (and I'm purposely omitting the part where I over-indulged on Edy's Slow-Churned...yikes). I'm back to journaling today and hopefully will get things turned around next week.

Here's the roll-up for the week:

Run: 5:47:10 / 35.51 miles
Bike: None (still need to get back into cycling and soon)
Swim: 0:50:00 / 2300 m
Strength: 0:15:00 (all core)

Tackling 20-miler #2 (and final) this Saturday...plus dealing with yet another snowstorm...bring it on!!!

An exercise in patience (or futility)

Yesterday, we got our first snowstorm, which dumped anywhere from 5-10" in the area (O'Hare had ~6", but Midway got 10" and had a freak accident with a plane ending up on the road outside the airport). Unfortunately, the storm hit right at the start of the afternoon commute, which bascially induced mass chaos on the roads. I live about 25 miles from where I work, and the commute that normally takes me about an hour at that time of day took me a whopping 3 hours and 40 minutes.

By the time an hour had passed, I had already checked my email (God bless mobile web) and scrolled through the usual suspects to chat the time away (unfortunately, most of the friends I called weren't around). By the time 2 hours had passed, I was grateful that I had stopped for gas the night before, that I had used the restroom before I left work, and that I had a stash of pseudo healthy snacks in the car. By the time 3 hours had passed, I was mad at the world and at every slow car in front of me, and by the time I finally made it home, I was just bitter beyond belief. It took a big bowl of Edy's Slow-Churned ice cream, a glass of wine, and another glass of egg nog (complete with a little Captain Morgan's) to bring my blood pressure out of the stratosphere and to start restoring that part of my stomach lining which seemed to have started digesting itself at some point along the way. Patient has never been a word that is readily used to describe me, and boy did that hold true last night. But, I made it--I guess in the end, that's what counts.

As if the longest commute I've ever experienced weren't enough fun for the week, tonight I did my 8-miler on a treadmill. I had toyed with the idea of getting it in this morning and doing it outside, but I had an early meeting (that ended up getting moved anyway) that I wasn't prepared for, so I pushed my workout back until this afternoon. Between the temperature, the snow, and the fact that it seems like it gets dark here at 2 in the afternoon these days, I decided to work on my mental stamina and duke it out with the treadmill. It's always fun to hit the 60 minute mark and have the machine stop automatically, then have to reset it and keep going. At least we had the "Friday Flicks" playing in the fitness center--today was "Meet the Fockers", which helped kill some of the boredom. At least the drive home today was short...if I would've had to deal with yesterday's commute (or even half of that) today, I'm pretty sure I would be a road rage case study by now.

Tomorrow morning, I'm meeting Erin and Julia (another co-worker) for a 12-miler near work--should be fun to see how much snow we end up running through. Erin has already informed me that I will not be in charge of pacing, as she's pretty sure I'll go too fast (probably true) and since she isn't training for a marathon but is just running for the heck of it, she's setting the pace. Fair enough--I'm trying to take it as easy as possible this week and still hit my mileage, so that works for me.

Onto the next adventure...

Week 41 Wrap-up

Week 41 seemed like a blur--probably because my long run was during the work week and I swam (albeit in a clinic) on the weekend. I'm still not getting in any time on the bike--I need to get that in somehow, but with the mileage I'm putting in running these days, it seems like swimming is a better cross-training option to give my legs a chance to recover a little. Nonetheless, I'm going to try to get in ~30-60 minutes of biking somewhere along the way this week. The good news is that my legs are feeling great after the 20-miler--took Saturday off completely and did a fairly easy 5-mile pace run Sunday and am feeling great on day two of week 40. The bad news is that winter is most definitely here--it's been in single digits (at least wind chill-wise) this week, and I'm really hoping it warms up at least a little bit or this weekend's 12-miler is going to be frigid!! Oh well--that's why we have hot chocolate, I guess...

Here's the summary for the week...

Run: 6:58:51 / 43.21 miles
Bike: Nothing again
Swim: 0:52:00 / 2050 m (approx.--no clue how much I swam during the clinic)
Strength: 0:15:00 (all core)

Week 40 is another step-back week for my marathon training--I'm going to take it fairly easy (still hitting my mileage, of course) and try to get some other stuff done (extra swim session and some biking, plus getting some random stuff done around my house--always a good idea). I'm also going to attempt to finalize my IM training program over the next couple of weeks--since I won't start until after Disney, I've got a little time yet, but as a notoriously awful procrastinator, I'm going to attempt to force myself to get it sorted out before the marathon...

Bring on week 40 (and hopefully some warmer weather)...

At least now I know...

This past Sunday, I attended a swim clinic hosted by The Bike Shop in Glen Ellyn (same place I had my fitting right before Thanksgiving). It was taught by Lauren Jensen (pro triathlete and 2nd place finisher at Madison this year) and Karen Austin, an age grouper and TI-certified swim coach. Great clinic--there ended up only being six of us in attendance, which seemed like a shame, but worked out well for us as we got way more individual attention than I was expecting. We all had 100m videotaped, plus we got an individual assessment from one of the instructors (mine was done by Lauren). We then watched all of our videos and Lauren and Karen pointed out what we did well and what we need to improve upon.

For me, it was a great clinic--I learned that, for the most part, my balance in the water is pretty good, but that I tend to lift my head when I breathe on my right side, thereby causing my hips to lower a little to compensate. Also, my hands were entering the water thumb-down and were coming up out of the water too close to my waist--big loss of power in both areas. My hand entry into the water is also too close to my midline--need to focus on that being somewhere in the width between my ear and my shoulder and on keeping my elbow higher than my hand on the catch. At the end of the clinic, they showed us some drills and then watched us do them--I think I got a little better on the elbow and hand position, but I still have work to do, for sure. Interesting thing, though...my stroke actually gets more efficient as I get faster--by about 3 strokes/25 m--which is opposite of what usually happens. Not sure why, but I'm thinking I'll definitely incorporate some speedwork into my swim workouts and see if I can translate that efficiency into my normal pace.

Lauren talked to us about some open water swim stuff, too--we practiced doing a deep water start and also talked through drafting strategies. She's hosting another clinic in January, but it's the same weekend as Disney--obviously won't be able to make that. Karen apparently does clinics and teaches lessons in Geneva, though--I'm considering seeing if I can take either a few lessons with her or see if she has any mini-TI clinics coming up. Regardless, this was a great start to help me understand how to improve on the swim--great opportunity and I'm very glad I took it. Now I just have to buckle down and get better...

20 times two...

Yesterday, I did my first of two 20-milers in preparation for Disney--unfortunately, it was also about 20 degrees out, hence the "20 times two" title. A few things about yesterday still seem a bit surreal to me, namely the following:

1. I ran 20 miles voluntarily and with only one pitstop (a gas station at mile 17 to address the call of nature).
2. I took a half day of vacation to run said 20-mile run.
3. I took said half day of vacation to run said 20-mile run in weather conditions that I can only adequately describe as butt-ass cold (sorry Mom and Vardomom, but that's the truth).

I ran with Michele (who left for vacation this morning--hence the Friday run instead of a more traditional weekend run)--once again I'll say thank God I had someone to run with. 20 miles is a long way to run by oneself, especially at my pace--it took us about 3 hours and 15 minutes to do, which would've been a very long time to be left alone with my thoughts. As it was, Michele and I talked about darn near everything under the sun, from performance reviews at work (I had mine yesterday morning) to Weight Watchers to how to survive long runs. That last conversation topic was actually quite insightful--basically, she said the last couple miles will hurt and be tough (and they were, for the record), but that it's a mental game to get through. It was good to hear that from her--she's a very good (and experienced) athlete, and it was actually a little comforting to know that the soreness and general tired feeling was not solely a product of this being my first training experience, but apparently something most people go through (and I confirmed that with Vardo today, too). All told, I'm glad it's over, but I'm also glad we have another 20-miler in a couple of weeks--I think that will help me go into Disney with a fair amount of confidence that I can finish and have a decent race.

I was tired, though, to be clear...when we got back to their house, I plopped down on the floor to stretch and was not all that keen on getting back up. Also, because of the weather, I had on 5 layers of shirts/jackets and three of shorts/tights/pants, so it took about 20 minutes of unpeeling the layers before I could even attempt a shower. Once clean, I plopped down on their kitchen floor again and played with the puppies while Sue graciously made dinner--I was fine until she handed me a glass of wine and then attempted to get up after drinking the wine, and then negotiating the stairs was a bit dicey as well as my legs were basically shot. After dinner, we watched "Tommy Boy"--my all time favorite movie...sadly, though, all three of us were asleep by the time the movie ended--guess we were tired. But, it was a fairly relaxing way to spend the evening, and by the time all was said and done, I was tired, but doing OK.

This morning, I popped some ibuprofen and was moving slowly, but pain-free--just fatigued. I crashed on my couch for about 1 1/2 hours this afternoon while watching Texas clobber Colorado in the Big 12 championship game, then went to see the movie version of "Rent" (one of my favorite musicals). I'm still tired, so will likely turn in early tonight--have a 5-miler to run tomorrow, which, at this rate, will be through ~3-4 inches of snow, and a swim clinic tomorrow morning. No rest for the wicked, I guess (or at least no more than one day of rest)...